Colossians 1:7, 8

As ye also learned of Epaphras our dear fellowservant, who is for you a faithful minister of Christ;
Who also declared unto us your love in the Spirit.

Paul introduces us to a man named Epaphras.

We know very little about him. No miracles recorded. No sermons preserved. No dramatic scenes.

But we know this.

He spoke well of others.

When Epaphras reported to Paul about the believers in Colosse, he did not highlight their flaws. He declared their love in the Spirit. He talked about what God was doing among them.

That tells us something about his heart.

He was a faithful minister.

Faithfulness is not only seen in preaching. It is seen in what you say when people are not present.

I want to be like Epaphras.

To talk about how God is working in someone’s life when they are not in the room. To declare love instead of defects.

Here is a sobering truth.

To a very real degree, you become the person I say you are when you are not around.

If I criticize you repeatedly, even exaggerating small flaws, my mind will slowly reshape you into that version. The next time I see you, I will approach you through that lens. My tone will shift. My patience will shrink.

On the other hand, if I speak well of you behind your back, I will begin to see you through grace. The next conversation will be warmer. My posture will be open. My expectations will be hopeful.

Words shape perception.

Perception shapes relationship.

The power of words is not small.

Gossip is usually defined as spreading bad news. But what if we flipped it?

What if we gossiped about good things?

What if we declared someone’s faithfulness?
What if we highlighted someone’s love?
What if we rehearsed the grace we see in others?

Epaphras carried news.

But he carried encouragement.

Be careful what you rehearse about others when they are not present.

You are building a version of them in your own mind.

Speak well.

And you will begin to see well.

That is the quiet power of a faithful minister.