1 Timothy 3:3–5

Not given to wine, no striker, not greedy of filthy lucre; but patient, not a brawler, not covetous;
One that ruleth well his own house, having his children in subjection with all gravity;
(For if a man know not how to rule his own house, how shall he take care of the church of God?)

Paul is basically saying, if a man wants to shepherd people, look at how he lives when nobody is clapping.

Not given to wine.
He needs a clear head. If you are responsible for souls, you cannot afford to be foggy. Life is confusing enough without voluntarily dulling your judgment.

No striker.
That is not just about fists. Some men hit with words. Some hit with tone. Some hit with sarcasm. A shepherd cannot be that guy. If he explodes every time he feels threatened, he has no business leading.

Not greedy.
If money drives him, ministry will drift. People can tell.

But patient.
That one gets most of us. Real shepherding takes time. People grow slowly. Wounds heal slowly. If a man cannot wait, he will wound more than he heals.

Not a brawler.
Some guys love the fight. Always ready to argue. Paul says that spirit does not belong in church leadership.

And then he brings it home.

If he cannot manage his own house, how will he care for the church?

Before you hand a man a congregation, look at his living room. Watch how he speaks to his wife. Watch how he handles pressure at home. Is there steadiness? Is there gravity? Is there consistency?

The church is not strengthened by a polished sermon if the home is unraveling.

Leadership is proven at home long before it is proven in a pulpit.